Firstly, if you reached this via a random search on the internet and are feeling stuck, buried under unmanageable pressure, in a corner or suicidal, breathe.
If that is you now, if you have a plan, if you’re looking for ways to end your life, if it’s so dark that the relief of knowing how is a comfort, stop. Please. Call a mate, phone Samaritans, if you think you’re going to OD or have, get yourself to A&E.
If you need to self harm to relieve the pain, to give you something to focus on, try ice cubes. Squeeze them in your hand and feel the burning cold. Put down the sharp blade and open a window.
When we, as professionals, talk to people who’ve cut or attempted suicide after we’ve stabilised them, they almost all regret it. Most attempts are a cry for help, to get attention, to put down the enormous burden, to ask someone to take over, just for a while, to deal with the crap life has handed you.
If this is you, I’m sorry. I have no idea what demons you’re fighting but I do know that so many have been there before you and there is a solution, somehow. But the never ending darkness is not it. There are charities who are there to support you, pathways in place to show you that, however dark it is now, there is a way forward.
Please note that this is not about mental illness. This is not about PD, psychosis, mania or depression. These are the kind that leaves you debilitated and requiring professional assistance. For those who have such things, it is important that the rest of us do not stigmatise them, help support them in any way and be conscious that we are all a few steps and some genes away from their situation.
For the rest of us, who live every day with our own mental health, it is thankfully starting to become more commonly talked about in recent years. The typical English attitude of stiff upper lip and crack on is slowly becoming more less expected, but the underlying causes of poor mental health is less commonly discussed.
Positive mental health is much more of a holistic approach, a way of recognising that body and mind are inextricably linked, that we can influence those around us and by intercepting negative trends, and that we may be able to prevent or minimise darker times.

The sketch above shows the basic pyramid of mental health.
Positive health choices are obvious in retrospect. Avoiding drugs that effect mental state (alcohol, cannabis, tobacco, illicit chemicals), taking regular exercise, maintaining a healthy weight, getting sufficient rest.
Regular life patterns play a more subtle role. We all have a circadian clock, a biological rhythm that governs eating, sleeping, and even more complex processes. But we also have a human need for regularity. For work, for seeing friends, for doing things we enjoy. If we neglect this, or it is removed from us, we soon notice its absence.
Positive relationships make more sense. We have all had relationships that drag us down, that make us feel less than we like to be. These can be personal, romantic or work, but their effect is pernicious and corrosive.
We can tolerate shifts in any one of the points for a period of time, for example poor health choices by eating too much, drinking too much or not resting enough, but if we also have a few unsupportive or negative relationships and no regular life pattern then we are in a slippery slope to poor mental health.
Mental health is a gift to be nurtured, shared and to be grateful for.
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